8 Thanksgiving Conversation Starters Other Than Diet Talk
Sitting down for a Thanksgiving meal can feel triggering thanks to the food-centric nature of the holiday. Much of our society is consumed with diet culture and when a holiday like Thanksgiving focuses heavily on food, it seems to invite diet talk along with food and body comments.
Diet talk is anything related to diets, food restriction, calories, or exercise, all centered around weight loss or changing one’s appearance. It can feel nearly impossible to escape diet talk on Thanksgiving, particularly comments like:
I haven’t eaten all day so that I can indulge and not feel bad about it.
Calories don’t count on Thanksgiving, right?!
Ugh, I’m so full. On Monday I’m going hardcore at the gym to burn it off.
At least I got my steps in so that I can have seconds of pumpkin pie.
Family or friends usually mean no harm by this, but many don’t realize they can be triggering disordered food thoughts and behaviors, encouraging weight stigma, and spreading false information and messages around nutrition and health.
Diet talk can be really damaging, but as you get into recovery you’ll realize that ultimately you can’t control if and when people make food and body remarks.
However, you CAN set yourself up by having Thanksgiving conversation starters and responses prepared to avoid diet talk and redirect unhealthy discussions accordingly.
8 Thanksgiving Conversation Starters Other Than Diet Talk
These Thanksgiving conversation starters can be used as a recovery tool at the dinner table.
Thanksgiving conversation starters help foster connection and relationship, and honestly, diet talk can be quite boring with little depth. There are so many more fun and meaningful things to talk about anyway!
People do want to be able to enjoy their meal without feeling guilty, so they’ll likely be happy to hop into another topic of conversation other than diet talk as well!
1. Favorite Holiday Traditions
Ask everyone if they have any fun or unique holiday traditions they remember from childhood or that they’ve implemented in their family currently. People love feeling nostalgic while talking about traditions that had a positive impact on them.
2. Black Friday Shopping Deals
Talk about the craziest deals you’ve seen on commercials and advertisements for Black Friday. See if anyone has tips for braving the stores or gaining the best deal!
3. Hobbies
Everyone loves when someone asks to share more of their personal interests. Is your aunt into gardening? Ask her to give you some advice for taking care of your new plants! Is your cousin a huge fan of board games? Ask if there are any new ones worth trying.
4. Gratitude
Thanksgiving is about being present and thankful. Initiate taking turns around the dinner table and have everyone share what they’re grateful for this year.
5. Pictures
In this day and age everyone documents their life with pictures. Ask them to pull up photos of their cute puppy, their child’s Halloween costume you didn’t get to see, their recent travels, or their latest house project.
6. Popular Shows on Netflix
There are bound to be a few people who watch the same show. Dive into the plots and discuss what’s going on; people get passionate about their shows!
7. Funny Stories From Past Thanksgivings
There have to be stories to giggle about that probably weren’t too funny in the past like that one time grandma burned the turkey or your uncle put the wrong spices in the stuffing!
8. Famous Guest at Dinner
If you could invite one famous person to Thanksgiving, who would it be and why? This is always interesting to see what people will say.
Write these Thanksgiving conversation starters on a sticky note or copy them into your phone for easy reference. A little preparedness with topics goes a long way!
How to Respond to Diet Talk
When you find yourself in a position where someone starts on diet talk and you’re not sure what to say, you have options on how to respond in a way that feels comfortable to you.
Know that you don’t have to change anyone’s beliefs. Don’t feel obligated to debate, share about your personal recovery, or even say anything at all. It can take a lot of energy to respond to diet talk, and if it’s not the best circumstance or situation, you can move past it in whatever way feels easiest.
On the other hand, you can absolutely stand up and speak out against diet talk if you feel like it! There’s no right or wrong way to go about it.
If your uncle is explaining how pie doesn’t fit into his new diet, feel free to take the conversation in a different direction with one of these sample responses.
Change the Subject
Oh you know, talking about apple pie reminds me of your sister who loves to bake. Have you seen her recently? How’s she doing? Odds are, the person will forget what they said and be interested in answering your new question.
Walk Away
I’m going to run to the restroom real quick! If you feel overwhelmed or caught off guard, you can give yourself permission to remove yourself and take a deep breath or text a friend for support.
Encourage Positivity
Talking about diets feels negative, doesn’t it? Let’s talk about something fun and positive. I LOVE your dress, where did you get it from? Even if people don’t realize how negative diet talk sounds, they’ll catch on that you’re not into it.
Educate
Did you know that dieting can actually cause you to feel crazier around food? Have you heard of Intuitive Eating? I can text you a link if you’d like to learn about it! This sounds interesting and many people will want to know more.
Get Real and Set Boundaries
I’m working on healing from an eating disorder, so diet talk is hard for me. Could we focus on talking about stuff other than food or body topics today? If you choose to be real, odds are people will respect that boundary.
Use Humor
Why would you feel bad for eating pumpkin pie? You didn’t steal it, did you?! Often the conversation moves on because it signals that you’re not reciprocating diet talk. It’ll make people think twice too!
Have a Support Person for Backup
Talk with a friend or loved one in advance about how they can support you during Thanksgiving. They can help distract you if you’re feeling uneasy, support you when you’re feeling triggered, and be on alert to step in and redirect conversations away from diet talk.
Overall, focus on your own recovery this Thanksgiving and how you can practice a healthy mindset free from diet culture. The further you get into recovery, the stronger you’ll be. At some point, diet talk at Thanksgiving won’t even phase you and you’ll just be grateful that you’re at peace with food and your body.
Worried About Diet Talk on Thanksgiving? Find Support from an Eating Disorder Therapist
If you are in search of a therapist who specializes in eating disorders, disordered eating, and healing your relationship with your body, please feel free to visit my website or email me to see if working together might be a good fit for you. My office is based in Salado, Texas, and I can provide virtual therapy services across the state of Texas.
Good on therapy? Great! I also have a weekly newsletter called Sunday Soothies you might be interested in signing up for. If you ever get a case of the Sunday Scaries, cozy up with your inbox every Sunday morning and soothe your way into your week! Join the Soothie Crew here.
