5 Ways Parents Can Support Their Teen in Eating Disorder Treatment During the Holidays
The holidays are “the most wonderful time of the year” as there are festivities, family gatherings, and a spirit of cheer in the air. If your teen is in eating disorder recovery during the holidays though, this joyful season can bring challenges.
Holidays tend to magnify the struggles of an eating disorder as anxiety, stress, panic, and shame can heighten from the triggers this time presents. Here are just a few of the reasons the holidays can be particularly difficult for your teen:
Celebrations centered around food presenting more opportunities for diet talk
Fear foods and meals/desserts they’re not used to being around all year
Change in daily routines and less structure for winter break, holiday plans, or traveling
Complicated family dynamics
Visiting relatives your teen doesn’t always see, worrying about food or body comments being made by them
You might feel unsure how to best support your teen in eating disorder recovery during the holidays, especially because eating disorders can be so tricky and complex. Do know that there are ways you CAN be their ally through this time, helping them stay recovery-focused!
5 Ways Parents Can Support Their Teen in Eating Disorder Treatment During the Holidays
Keep Structured Mealtimes
During the holidays, regular mealtimes can get thrown off simply because of traveling or having activities planned. While flexibility is definitely a goal in recovery, do your best to maintain mealtimes similar to what your teen has at home.
This could mean asking the grandparents to serve Christmas dinner at a more helpful time. It could also be planning for snacks in the day and including the family too. Be mindful of the time and take a break from holiday shopping to stop at a coffee shop. This might be an opportunity for a challenge if they’re interested, like ordering a seasonal bakery item!
2. Avoid Talk About Food and Weight
A lot of parents contribute to diet talk without even realizing it. Comments like I’m so stuffed, I can’t eat for another week or let’s go on a family walk to burn off those Christmas cookies can be very triggering to your teen.
There’s usually no intentional harm behind these comments, but they’re damaging and a disordered unhealthy thought process. Think before you comment and even evaluate your own internalized beliefs about food and bodies.
Try to be on guard with your family and loved ones to help steer the conversation away from diet talk. Also, normalize holiday foods by demonstrating to your teen that there are no good or bad foods.
3. Ask Your Teen How You Can Support Them
Give your teen the opportunity to express what they need from you and how you can assist their recovery to make the holidays a little easier for them.
Establish who will be their support person to help them cope with any stressors at holiday events. Who would they prefer to be their go-to buddy they can lean on? If it’s not you, maybe it’s their sibling or cousin they feel comfortable with that can check in with them and sit with them during the meal.
Determine a strategy if they need to step away for a few deep breaths or take a walk around the block for a distraction.
Most of all, remember that empathy and validation are needed more than “fixing” or advice. Navigating eating disorder recovery during the holidays can be very overwhelming. Be compassionate, kind, and loving even if you don’t fully understand your teen’s struggles.
4. Avoid the Role of the Food Police
If your teen has a treatment team, trust the professionals and avoid excessive monitoring unless their providers have given you the go-ahead to do so.
If you’re overstepping, pressuring your teen to eat, commenting on their food portions, or mentioning their appearance this can backfire and cause more anxiety for your teen; harming rather than helping.
If they’re working with a treatment team, know their team is guiding them and have discussed their meal plan, coping strategies, and goals. Based on what your teen and their treatment team agree on, determine what’s expected of you as the parent and what’s expected of them.
Stay away from trying to take the role of the dietitian or therapist and stick to your role as a “loved one,” focusing on providing comfort and support to your teen.
5. Plan Non-Food Related Activities
The holidays are a time to be appreciative of those around us and to soak up the holiday spirit. With so many events centered around food during the holidays, focus on activities that emphasize the true meaning and purpose of this season.
Ice skating, holiday lights, festive movies, board games, decorating, and caroling can all be a positive way for your teen to connect and spend quality time with loved ones, without having to give attention to food and hopefully be a distraction to the eating disorder.
Sometimes the eating disorder can take center stage in a family’s life, and activities like these can serve as a reminder to your teen about what’s most important.
Connect with an Eating Disorder Therapist this Holiday Season
Eating disorders can steal the joy out of holidays, but holidays are also a part of your teen’s recovery journey that gives you all an opportunity to learn more and grow together as a family.
When you look at the bigger picture, recovery is about walking through difficult times like the holidays that ultimately lead to freedom in the end!
As an eating disorder therapist, my goal is to walk alongside your teen and guide them in finding peace with food and their body. Let’s connect and navigate eating disorder recovery through the holidays together!
