When Loving Your Body Feels Unrealistic, Try Body Image Flexibility.

I have two questions for you:

1) How long have you struggled to like your body?

2) What are all the things you’ve tried to do to get those negative thoughts to go away and “just love my body”?

Chances are, you’re reading this because the answer to question one is something along the lines of ‘ever since I can remember’, or at the very least, for quite some time. And I can imagine you’ve tried so many strategies to make those thoughts go away and just love your body! Here are some strategies I commonly hear from clients:

This list could certainly go on and on. My next question for you is…has it worked? Do you love your body now? If you answered yes, go ahead and stop reading, your work is done here you lucky pup! If the answer is no, read on and know that you are not alone!

No one can say that you haven’t worked hard to change your mind, to love your body. No one can say haven’t put in enough time, effort, energy, and hard work to change your mindset to loving your body. Look at all the things you’ve tried, and look at how long you’ve tried them!

What if we had a different strategy to approaching our relationship with our body that might feel like it works better for you? It will require some creativeness and some open-mindedness! That other strategy is Body Image Flexibility.

Body image flexibility is an approach used in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) that emphasizes the importance of being open, accepting, and non-judgmental towards your body and its appearance. It encourages individuals to shift their focus from trying to change their physical appearance to accepting it and focusing on what they value in life. ACT teaches individuals to develop psychological flexibility, allowing them to live in the present moment and take action towards their values despite the discomfort or negative thoughts that may arise.

3 Ways to Practice Body Image Flexibility

1. Connect to the present moment

You weren’t born hating your body. You were a sensory being, exploring the world with the help of your body. You knew when you were hungry and cried, and you knew when you were sleepy and slept. I promise your body is not the enemy and working against you to ruin your life. Your body just has a different agenda than our thin-centric and anti-fat society. Can you get present with our body in this moment? Try placing your hand on your heart and taking slow, deep breaths. Try noticing your body in a neutral and non-judgmental way. Go ahead and make this a short practice for just a few moments and then hop back into your life.

2. Take a different perspective on your bodY

All the strategies we use to try and change our body into loving our body seem to do this interesting thing of backfiring and perhaps leads to having a worse or obsessive relationship with our food/body/exercise. Instead of focusing on how you look, let’s take a different perspective. Your body is a tool that helps you live your life. Your thighs carry you up the mountain on a hike. Your arms help you hug your loved ones. Perhaps your new perspective is noticing that your body is one part of your life, and there are so many other domains that deserve your attention. How can you relate to your body differently than you do now?

3. Live out your values now

If you were content and satisfied with your body, what would you be doing with your life? You might be putting off the things you know you want to do with your time on this Earth “until I like my body”. Maybe that’s going on a trip to the beach with your family and friends, or trying out roller blading, or taking silly photos at a wedding with your friends. Now hear me out on this one. What would it look like to do what matters most to you, and take your discomfort of not liking your body along for the ride? The thoughts and the anxiety you may feel in your body, you are the container for those experiences and they can pack a swimsuit and come to the beach with us. What can you do today with the body you have that makes your life meaningful?

Interested in learning more about body image flexibility?

As an eating disorder therapist, I’d love to walk alongside you to help you reach true recovery and heal your body image. Located in Salado, Texas, I offer in-person counseling as well as virtual telehealth sessions. Reach out and get help today!