7 Ways to Repair Your Relationship with Your Body
In a world that’s destined to convince you that your body is a problem to be solved, I hope your whispering wisdom that your body is ready to be loved brought you here today. Perhaps you’ve spent years operating under the premise that your body was the problem, with a whole life waiting for you on the other side of fixing it. We know what your mind has to say about your body. We know what culture has to say about your body. But what does your body have to say about all of this? Your one, precious, beautiful body has something to say too. When we realize we can’t possibly meet the standards placed on our body, that it was probably right all this time about what it needed, and you are ready to make nice, that can feel like an impossible place to take the first step in doing so. Here are 7 ways to start that journey towards repair and acceptance of your body.
1. start with acts of respect for your body.
Respect for your body is fundamental in repairing your relationship with it. This means acknowledging its needs, nourishing it appropriately, and recognizing its limits. The body is not just an object, but a living, breathing entity that deserves to be treated with kindness and respect. This perspective invites a sense of gratitude and reverence towards your body which can deeply influence your relationship with it.
Think about a time that you’ve had a rocky relationship with a loved one. How did you repair? You didn’t beat that person up emotionally or otherwise! You apologized, you treated that person with respect and kindness. You worked on making that relationship a trusting and loving place once again. The same can be applied to repairing our relationship with our own body. Another good thing about starting with respecting your body is, you can respect your body even if you don’t particularly like it right now. Like a professor in college you didn’t quite jive with, you still knew how to show that person respect. Show your body respect, even on the days you aren’t seeing eye-to-eye.
2. Practice Self-Care for the Sake of Self-Care.
Self-care should not be viewed as a luxury, but rather as a necessity. This includes not just physical care such as eating nourishing meals and moving your body in a way that feels resourcing, but also emotional, mental, and spiritual care. This might involve meditation, journaling, therapy, or any other activity that helps you to connect with and take care of your inner self. Practice self-care because it is a worthy pursuit, not as a means to an end, but as an end in itself. Think of self-care as a tool of self-preservation. It resources you to do the things you’re meant to do on this Earth.
3. Tune Into Your Own Values and Quiet Culture’s Expectations.
We live in a society that often imposes unrealistic beauty standards and expectations. It's vital to recognize these external influences and consciously decide not to let them dictate your self-worth. Instead, focus on your personal values, beliefs, and aspirations. This internal focus can help you connect more deeply with yourself, away from the noise of societal expectations. Ever noticed the times you just can’t seem to stick with a goal you wanted to pursue? Perhaps it was never your goal in the first place, but a societal standard that just didn’t match up to your body’s needs.
I’ll give you a bit of a personal example here. I thought for several years that I wanted to be “a runner”. I tried and tried to make that stick. Honestly, it was just straight-up misery every time I ran. I was trying so hard to be someone I wasn’t that I missed out on who I really am for a little while. I found other ways to move my body that feel exciting, resourcing, and freeing instead of limiting. And it turns out, I’m not just one thing - my body loves cycling, swimming, hiking, pilates, and my favorite…laying on the couch! My body wasn’t lying to me. It wasn’t “getting in the way”. It was worth listening to and there was so much wisdom right under my nose (literally!) all this time.
4. Listen to Your Body.
Your body has its unique language of communicating its needs and desires, and it's a language worth learning for the rest of your lifetime. This could mean understanding what kind of food, rest, and activity your body needs, as well as recognizing signs of stress or discomfort. By tuning into these signs and signals, you can respond to your body's needs more effectively and foster a more harmonious relationship with it. Just like we know when we need to, erm…use the bathroom…our body sends other signals too! When we are stressed, our jaw and shoulders tighten. When we are feeling safe, our heart feels a little warmer. When we are hungry, we have thoughts of food and a heightened sense of smell. And when we feel that something isn’t quite right, our body alerts us to that as well. What a beautiful tool we have, a partner in life to help us navigate life’s choppy waters.
5. Celebrate All That Your Body Does For You Instead of Focusing on How It Falls Short.
Your body performs countless functions every day to keep you alive and well. Your lungs fill with air without needing a reminder. Your cells turnover and refresh while you sleep. Your thighs carry you up the mountain. Instead of focusing on your imperfections or comparing your body to others, make a conscious effort to appreciate all that your body does for you. This shift in perspective can help you develop a deeper sense of gratitude and love for your body.
6. Surround Yourself with body-positive Messaging.
The media and messages we consume can significantly shape our perceptions of ourselves. Make a conscious choice to surround yourself with positive, affirming, and diverse representations of bodies. This can help challenge and change any negative beliefs you hold about your body and promote a healthier and more accepting view of yourself and others. Go ahead and take a quick scroll through your socials and say goodbye to those accounts that bring up comparison for you, or move you further away from your body’s wisdom.
7. Explore Your Body’s Story with a Mental Health Professional.
Our bodies carry our personal histories, experiences, and roots. They have been through our joys and traumas, victories and defeats. These stories are influenced by more than our personal experiences - our upbringing, our cultural environment, and our genetic heritage are all interwoven into the story of our bodies. Some parts of our story reside deep within us, in our bones, and can have a significant impact on our relationship with our bodies. Telling your body’s story with a mental health professional there to listen can be a powerful step towards healing and deepening your relationship with your body.
If you are in search of a therapist who specializes in eating disorders, disordered eating, and healing your relationship with your body, please feel free to visit my website or email me to see if working together might be a good fit for you. My office is based in Salado, Texas, and I can provide virtual therapy services across the state of Texas.
Good on therapy? Great! I also have a weekly newsletter called Sunday Soothies you might be interested in signing up for. If you ever get a case of the Sunday Scaries, cozy up with your inbox every Sunday morning and soothe your way into your week! Join the Soothie Crew here.
